Friday, June 29, 2012

Lawyer Jokes and Joke lawyers.


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Trying to write lawyer jokes is harder then I thought it would be. They are also hard for me to find. For example the lawyer and the genie joke is not my own, I heard it once and I know I read somewhere else, I only hope I do it justice in recalling it; since the rest of the jokes I try to write keep turning out both far to hateful, and all ready written, I am going to compile as many as I can find and post them for as long as they'll let me...


Author of this joke is Unknown,

A business man in the Arabian dessert was lost with his lawyer walking through the sand. Not long until they would find an old dusty oil lamp. The man asked his lawyer what he should do. His lawyer advised him that the value of the lamp will be divided and used to pay a large yet reasonable lawyers fee. The Man rubbed the lamp and to the surprise of both men a huge genie came out with a large cloud of gas and dust.
The genie announced to the man and his attorney: You have three wishes between you to share. Quickly decide and split it however the two of you lowly drifters think is best.
The lawyer advised the man that due to modern unforeseeable liabilities the lawyer would not make any of the 3 wishes however two thirds of what every he wished for would go to separate large yet reasonable legal fee.
The man first wished for A million dollars for himself.
Then all at once the he was carrying a briefcase with a million dollars in it. The lawyer was at the same time suddenly holding a briefcase 3 times as big with 3 million dollars in it, they where both smiling. After a long pause the lawyer advised the man: "what are you waiting for? You should wish for more money. The man said I know but first I need some more legal advice.

The lawyer informed the man that this would eat more into his 2million dollar retainer.
The man asked his lawyer if he would reconsider his rates,
The lawyer said no, that his rates where absolutely fixed.
The man then asked his attorney: should I ask for more money or wish to donate a kidney to science first?




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